Accept It, Heal It, Replace It
by Insanity 101
Summary: Includes Weather the Storm. Just a little collection of one shots. The Titans are in their early twenties. Pairings, RobXRae.
1. Weather the Storm

_A bit of oddity. Rob's twenty-one, so it's all legal. This is a story spawned from a ridiculous (but persistant) idea that turned into something that will hopefully be meaningful, or at least worthwhile in some way. Enjoy.

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It had been a long night and an even longer morning.

"No...I don't wanna go home, the party's just getting started!"

Raven sighed, stumbling against the wall as his weight shifted dangerously. "No, Robin. The party was over three hours ago, when everyone in their right mind went home." The things she did for her friends.

Robin laughed loudly, making Raven wince and glance towards the door, hoping none of the other Titans would wake up. She wanted to save what dignity her leader had left. "Ah, you're no fun, Rae. How come, Rae? How come you're no fun anymore?"

Raven sighed patiently, stumbling over to the couch as Robin did his best to drag them both to the ground and easing him down on the cushion. "Because, Robin, if I was "fun" we never would have made it home in the first place. I shudder to think what condition we'd be in right now if you were the designated driver." That was the strangest part. Robin usually _was _the designated driver, the dutiful one who made sure everyone got home in one peice and never had a drop of alcohol. Tonight had gone a bit differently.

"Ah, it's not that bad, Rae. I only had a little bit...just a couple beers." He hiccuped, staring at her blearily.

Raven raised an eyebrow, suppressing a laugh as he struggled to regain some tiny part of his usual calm and collected attitude. "Oh, of course. Wow, Robin, you have a very different definition of "a couple". In my world that means two, and you certainly had more than that." She stood and made her way over to the kitchen to get a glass of water. "And, though beer may be the last thing you _remember_ drinking, you dabbled in a wide variety of beverages." It was sad, seeing him like this. He was so unlike himself...or maybe the Robin they were used to was just the tip of the iceberg.

Robin laughed again, hiccuping and coughing in between ragged breaths. "You sure use a lot of big words, Rae. Don't you speak Normal?" He squinted up at her as she offered the glass. "Whoa...that's weird..."

"It's called water, best when used before Raven's arm falls off." When he made no move to take it, she sighed quietly and brought the glass to his lips, tipping it slowly. Most of the water ended up on his shirt, but she was pretty sure he had gotten some of it. "Why tonight, Robin? Why when I'm with you? Why not get smashed when Beast Boy or Cyborg are there to deal with you?" She laughed quietly, realizing that if that had been the case, they would have been of little help, except maybe to encourage him to keep on drinking. The Titans didn't party very often, but when they did, BB and Cy went all out.

The drunken smile plastered to his lips suddenly died, a strange expression washing over his face as he looked up at her with unfocused eyes. "I...I was..."

"Robin!" Without any warning, without so much as a word, he leaned over the couch and threw up his entire world. Raven's quick reflexes got her out of the line of fire in time, but she cursed silently, a mixture of sympathy and irration flooding through her as he wretched. As soon as there was a lull in the action, she would get him to a more suitable place, but for now there was nothing to do but wait for it to stop.

There was obviously nothing left, but he continued to heave, coughing and gasping. Raven awkwardly rubbed his back, unsure and hesitant and wondering how on earth she had gotten herself into this mess. Eventually it stopped, and he dragged a shaking hand over his mouth, breathing heavily. "I'm sorry, Raven. I'm sorry, I'll clean it up." He attempted to stand, but immediately swayed, the ground leaping up at him. Raven jumped to her feet, catching him awkwardly and easing him back onto the couch. "It's fine, Robin. Don't worry about it."

"No...I'm sorry...it's all my fault. I shouldn't have...I'm so stupid!" He gripped his head in his hands, his voice booming through the quiet room, each word slurring into the next. Raven gasped in surprise as she saw something small and glistening streak down his cheek. "Everything's my fault."

Raven eased herself down on the couch beside him, more than a little apprehensive about where this was going. "Robin...you aren't...yourself. I think you should get some re--"

"_I_ did it, Raven." Tears streamed down his cheeks freely, nothing to stop them, nothing to shut them away. "It's my fault, always my fault. They're gone, can't change it...can't fix it. But I didn't mean to," he sobbed, the words barely distinguishable. "I tried...I didn't want them to go! Why did they leave me?" He pounded the couch with his fist, fixing her with a gaze full of desperation and pain. "What did I do wrong?"

What was he talking about? "Robin, you need sleep." She reached for his arm, but he jerked away violently, springing to his feet and stumbling away from her.

"No! I won't sleep, I don't get to sleep anymore, Raven! I don't care! It's my fault!" He was sobbing, shaking, and screaming, anger and pain pulsing from him in unbearable waves. "You don't know! You don't know anything, no one knows anything!" He took an unsteady step toward her, fists clenched and teeth bared. "You don't know what it's like! You don't know me, leave me alone 'cause you don't know me! You're not my friend, none of you...you hate me!"

Raven leaned away from him, the look on his face striking something like fear into her. Things were getting very ugly very fast. "Robin, you don't mean that. Please listen to me, just let me--"

"No!" He shrunk away from her, stumbling and crashing against the wall. "You don't...I know what I'm saying! I'm not stupid! Don't treat me like I'm stupid, Raven!" He drew a shuddering breath, fists clenched and shaking violently. "You don't know. You don't know _anything_."

Swallowing her fear, Raven stood and approached him slowly. The gentle, caring method was obviously not going to work, so she would just have to pretend he was coherent. "What don't I know, Robin?"

"You...you've never...I _saw_ it, Raven! I...I saw them..." The anger left him as suddenly as it had come, and he fell weakly to the ground, tears running in never-ending rivers down his cheeks. He drew his legs up against his chest, burying his face in his knees like a child hiding from imaginary monsters. He mumbled something, but the combination of fabric and impaired speech made it completely incomprehensible.

What the heck? There was more behind this than a little too much alcohol. Who was gone? What was his fault?

_"Lets go somewhere. I can't stand being here anymore...there's nothing to do anyway."_

_"Well, where do you suggest we go?" Raven shut her book with a snap and looked up at Robin for the first time since he entered the room. She frowned slightly, taking in his slightly mussed hair, wrinkled clothes, and the way he was clenching and unclenching his fists, as though torn between hitting something and falling over dead. _

_"I don't care where we go, just as long as we go somewhere. I need to get out, I'm not staying here any longer, so are you coming or not?"_

_"Well, since you asked so nicely..."_

Things pretty much went down-hill from there. He was quiet, sullen, almost indifferent. At least, for the first couple of beers. He had said something, something that she had shrugged off as jibberish at the time, but now seemed to be fitting into the puzzle...

_"Kinda weird...almost like it's happening all over again." He stared blankly ahead, mask concealing anything and everything. A bitter chuckle escaped him as he raised the glass to his lips. "Well, this is one way to deal with it, right?"_

"It". "They". None of this made any sense. Was today some sort of...aniversary? Something happened on this day...something that cut Robin to the bone. A frown creased her brow, her dark purple eyes boring into the wall just above his head. A mix of emotions had her head reeling; part of her felt a deep and desperately ignored pity; another part was wondering just how much her leader had managed to conceal from the world, even his best friends; yet another was incredibly frustrated and annoyed. This was hardly her area of expertise. Why not someone else? Why not Starfire, for heavens sake! She was something like Robin's best friend, surely she should be the one to handle this situation! But no. Here she was, there he sat, tears soaking his clothes and muffled sobs emerging from his huddled figure. Like it or not, she had to do something. She hated seeing him like this; somehow it made her feel unsafe, uneasy. If Robin was such a mess...

Raven knelt silently beside him, placing a gentle hand on his shuddering shoulder, using all of her energy to place some form of comfort within his misery. The tears slowly subsided, though his head remained buried in his knees, short breathes shivering through his body. The sound tore at Raven's heart.

"I was eight. Kid...just a kid...only a kid. I...I didn't know what to do." He raised his head slowly, facing away from her though she could still see the pain in his face. "Not fair...never fair. Nothing's ever fair, not for me. What did I do, Raven?" He turned to face her, face wet with cold tears and cold regrets. Raven froze as she saw it more than felt it: he was asking her, begging her, for release. He wanted _her_ to tell him everything was ok, to make it all better. _He was asking her to save him._

"Nothing. You did nothing, Robin. It wasn't your fault, it never was, and it never will be." As she said those words, an image, a thought, a feeling, envoloped her mind, washing her away with its intensity. Even as it all coursed through her, she knew what it was, knew the name for that feeling: Mama, Papa. The center of that little boy's universe, even after all these years. Ripped away. Stolen. Gone forever. Why? The thoughts were not her own, and yet she knew she was right, she knew what this was all about, and the pain of realization was difficult to bear.

His eyes were cast downward, almost in shame, shame of what he had never given himself the right to feel. The more you ignore the pain, the stronger it becomes, growing and pushing, slowly killing you from the inside. Nothing can change what happened, nothing can make it just go away. Robin had never allowed himself to grieve, never given himself the right to mourn his parents, to cry, to be human. Without that, he could never heal.

Gentle yet firm, Raven took his head in her hands, tilting it up until her gaze met his. "They loved you, Robin. They still love you, and they would never leave you." A small, sad smile lifted the corners of her mouth ever-so-slightly, though it was contradicted by the tell-tale tear on her pale cheek. "They never left you, Robin. Don't shut them away. Don't shut yourself away, you don't deserve this punishment. They would never want you to be so sad."

Tears welled up from beneath the mask, leaving fresh trails on his white skin, his chin shook slightly as bitter-sweet emotion swelled in his chest, horror and pain and beauty in every breath he took. His mind was yelling at him, the voice distorted and muddled. _"No. You can't. Protect yourself, protect them, protect her. Do Not Become Weak!" _But he was not going to listen to it. Not today.

Unsteady arms reached forward, catching her shoulders and pulling her with surprising gentleness into an embrace unlike any other Raven had ever felt. Words seemed so utterly pointless in his arms; so many things were said without a sound, so many feelings and emotions shared and returned as though his arms around her were a link between their souls. True, there was pain, there was sorrow, but it was not nearly so large and powerful as it had seemed only moments before. Somewhere inside him there was a seed, tiny and vulnerable and lost in a storm of chaos, but that seed could grow, if only it was given the proper care. There was hope still, and somehow in that moment, both knew that nothing had been wasted. Pain was growth, pain was experience, pain was developement. Somehow in the deep, dark masses of earth there _is_ a seed, small yet powerful, just waiting to sprout into something more beautiful and powerful than anything that came before. Find that seed, help it grow, discover the beauty in the darkest corners of life...

_And find someone to weather the storm with._

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_Ok...well that was actually a lot of fun to write, hope you enjoyed it. It was somewhat inspired by something I said to Furubafun24 (or Mina :)...maybe she will recall what it was. Now I'm afraid to announce that I am more or less on...a break from fanfic. Don't be alarmed (lol I'm so vain), it's just till the end of school, which is in two weeks. Just have to wrap things up. Seeyou soon, I hope! -Dusty  
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	2. The Robin, the Raven, and the Sugar

_-hits self forcefully- Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT write another pointless one-shot! People are clammering for the end of Broken, Shadow Creature hasn't been updated in months, A Series of Ridiculous Events needs your attention...DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME AND ENERGY WITH ANOTHER PIECE OF NONSENSE! DON'T YOU DARE..._

_Woops, I dared. This isn't really related to the first chapter...but they are both one-shots about an older Robin, so I thought I'd put them in the same spot rather than have another story. Since they aren't related, I'm not going to respond to reviews, so thank you to everyone who dropped me a line! Your input is much appreciated.

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**BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...**

Maybe if he ignored it, it would just go away...

**BEEBEEP-BEEBEEP-BEEBEEP-BEEBEEP!**

Just ignore it, it will pass...

**BEEBEEBEEP-BEEBEEBEEP-BEEBEEBEEP-BEEBEEBEEP!**

Please, please make it stop...

**BEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEB--**

A fist smashed the alarm clock hard enough to merge it with the nightstand, and the insane alarm was silenced in mid-chirp. Oh well...there goes another clock lost to the fact that Robin just wasn't a morning person. Especially not on _this_ morning.

The Boy...or rather, Man, Wonder cracked open one eye, cursing the sunlight that burned through the small opening, a frenzy of color spots dancing before him. A few minutes later, he got up the courage to peek out of both eyes...then little by little, they opened to "greet" the sunshine. Whoever invented Day Light Saving's Time should be drug out into the street and shot...mulitple times...in the head...and the heart. If the people had to have a clock to tell them how far gone their day was, why not leave it as it was? Why change back and forth continuously until no one really knew what "time" was anymore?

Oh well...he was probably only frustrated because he had been awake till who-knows-when last night. There are a few things in life that stick with you...learning to ride a bike, the first time you got dumped, your first broken bone, and insomnia are among them.

Yawning wide enough to swallow China, Robin stumbled out of bed, then yelped as his foot came down hard on a crumpled soda can. Cursing under his breath, he kicked the rebellious piece of rubbish across the room, contemplating for a moment a good spring cleaning...Nah.

He had to fight through piles of clothes to even get the bathroom door open, and then of course there was the mountain of towels completely obscuring the bathtub. Geez, he was becoming as much of a slob as Beast Boy...well, maybe not that bad. BB had..._cultures_ living in his bathroom sink, and we won't even discuss the toilet. The changeling's room was a regular safe haven for bacteria of all kinds.

With a shiver of disgust, Robin stumbled over to the shower and cranked on the hot water. No cold shower this morning...he just wasn't feeling up to it. Scratching his chin absently, his hand met with stubble...he could use a shave. These idiot criminals were so persistent these days he hardly had time for even the smallest things...like grooming. It was the weekend...not that that meant anything, but he had a good feeling business would be slow today, so he might as well make himself look somewhat decent.

He sighed gustily as the water pounded down on him, waking him up a little less harshly than the hypothermia temperature he was used to. Tense, sore muscles relaxed, the aching soothed away by the heat. Why didn't he do this more often?

After an uncharacteristically long shower, Robin dried off, fixed his hair (yeah, it was still spiky), shaved, and all that other morning jazz. Rooting through his closet for a clean uniform, his eyes fell upon something bright and painful...his old costume. He had saved one, even though he no longer wore it and couldn't fit into it if he wanted to. There was something comforting about having it always with him...without it, the past would slip away into the deep folds of memory. He sighed, his fingertips brushing the worn and abused fabric gently. "Well, Mom, I'm twenty-one. Twenty-one...Can you believe it?" With a slight shake of his head, he found a uniform and closed the closet door. "Yeah...me neither."

After that, unease plagued his mind, making him jumping and uncomfortable...and he couldn't quite shake it. Holidays were just not his thing...they always seemed to be a painful reminder of what was missing.

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"Good morning, Robin. Sleep well?" 

He was startled to see her...though it wasn't unusual for them to meet in the kitchen during the early hours of the morning. You know what they say...the early bird gets the worm. It looked like he was the worm this morning. "Not bad...killed my alarm clock, though."

She put her hands on her hips in mock disapproval. "Again? How many have you gone through...10?"

"Eleven, actually." He smiled slightly as she rolled her eyes. "What about you? You did go to sleep, right?"

Raven nodded, then an unfamiliar expression fixed itself to her face, almost as though she was trying not to laugh. "Come on." She reached out and took his hand forcefully, all-but dragging him out of the kitchen and into the hallway as he protested, thinking of his coffee longingly. "What are you doing? We didn't have plans today!" His stomach lurched uncomfortably. Could she...No. Nobody knew what today was for him.

"Be quiet and you'll see in just a minute. Stop pulling, I'm not going to kill you or anything!" Raven continued to drag him toward the elevator, becoming irritated with his struggling. Raven was strong, but you've got to calculate mass into any battle. Still utterly confused, Robin gave in to her pulling and allowed her to lead him into the little metal box. His eyes widened slightly as she pushed the button labeled "roof". Seeing his surprised face, Raven grinned (very uncharacteristic for her) and winked (even more shocking). "You'll see...boy, will you see."

There was something in her tone that made Robin a little bit nervous. Dreading what would come next, he let Raven pull him through the roof access door and into the cold air and dim light of early morning. He blinked for a moment, unsure if he was seeing correctly...

"Ta da!" Raven said in her usual monotone, flinging her hand out dramatically...by her standards, at least. A blanket big enough for two was spread out on the east side of the roof, decked out with a box of pizza, two cans of rootbeer, and, in the place of honor, a small cake decorated with red, green, and yellow frosting. "Happy Birthday, Robin!" was neatly written across the top in bold black letters. This picture was set off perfectly by the dark-haired young woman standing in front of it. "So...do you like it or are you going to kill me?"

All Robin could do was stare, blinking in complete shock. Why did she do this for him? That cake must have taken a good four hours...Wait! How did she even know in the first place?

Raven looked down at her feet, blushing slightly, "I've known for a while Robin. This is just the first time I've dared to do anything about it." When he continued to stare, she cleared her throat and tried again. "You...well...certain emotions attracted my attention, and...I was worried about you, I thought it was something more serious...so I sort of found out by accident." She hesitated, looking up at him with trepidation, as though worried he might be angry. "I didn't tell any of the others," she added hastily. "If you don't want them to know, that's fine, but...I thought you deserved a celebration. I can understand if you don't want to, that's completely fine too, I just thought...maybe..." She bit her lip, looking up at him for some sign as to how he was taking this. The cool breeze swirled around her, blowing her hair back from her face to reveal her deep purple orbs.

Robin wasn't sure what to think. It had been so very long since he had an actual birthday party, and that was how he wanted it. It was just another day, no reason to celebrate, he didn't want his friends to feel pressured into doing something for him or acknowledging him, just because it was his "birthday". But Raven...this was different. She wasn't doing this for show, wasn't fullfilling her duty...she did this because she cared about him. A slow smile spread across his face, and a barely audible sigh of relief escaped her as her hands unclenched and she ceased her nervous biting. "Thanks, Rae."

"Your welcome." The rising sun threw faint beams of golden light upon her features, making her pale skin glow and her empty eyes light up. She took his hand and led him over to the blanket, settling down beside him and cracking the rootbeer. The time passed pleasurably, both of them relaxed as they talked and laughed about nothing and everything, watching with a strange feeling of rebirth as the sun slowly crept into the sky, throwing its light over them and warming their skin with its gentle caress. When the cake was gone and the pizza and pop cans tossed carelessly to the side, Raven and Robin lay side by side on the blanket, gazing up at the lightening sky. It had been a long time since either had felt this happy, this content, this...relaxed. There was nowhere to rush off to, no villain to apprehend, no arguement to stop. It was just them and the beauty of early morning.

"Oh, I almost forgot." Raven suddenly sat up, fishing in her cloak pockets for something as Robin looked at her inquisitively. Her hand emerged with a small package held in her fist, wrapped in red paper and tied with a neat black bow. "This is for you," she announced, holding out her hand palm up.

Robin was completely shocked. "Oh, Rae...you didn't have to--"

"No, actually, I did. The cashier held a gun to my head." She laughed quietly as he continued to stare in shock. "Take it before my arm falls off."

Hesitantly, almost as though afraid it would bite him, Robin took the package from her outstretched hand, wondering what on earth it could possibly be. Raven began to grow impatient as he slowly pulled away each piece of tape, careful not to rip the paper in the smallest degree. "Come on, Robin, wrapping paper isn't _that_ expensive!" Robin glanced up at her, smiling. "Maybe not, but it's important, all the same." This brought a hint of color to her cheeks as she fell silent once more, and he finally finished unwrapping the small, odd-shaped present. Out fell two squishy black balls. He blinked in surprise, then glanced up at Raven.

"They're stress balls. Supposed to work wonders for crazy people like you." She smiled, a mischievous glint in her eye as he sighed, rolling his eyes in mock frustration. "You're never going to leave me alone about that, are you?"

"Never. Now, show me what they can do! I want to make sure I got my money's worth here."

He smiled obligingly, taking a ball in each hand and squeezing and releasing his fists, arm muscles bulging ever-so-slightly beneath his solid black uniform. Truthfully, he wouldn't know if they were working or not, because there was no stress to get rid of...not right now. "It's a miracle! I'm feeling relaxed already! In fact..." With absolutely no warning, Robin leapt to his feet, dragging Raven with him as he gripped her around the waist and spun her around recklessly, laughing at the expression of shock on her pale face. "Robin, no! Put me down...put me down right now!" He paid no heed to her shouts or the small fists pounding into his back, but continued to spin, feeling light-hearted and giddy in a way that he hadn't for ages. Maybe it was all the sugar they had just consumed.

Robin gasped. One moment, he was holding a kicking, struggling Raven in his arms, and the next, his arms were encircled around thin air. He abruptly stopped his insane twisting, stumbling slightly as the ground spun without him. Where did she go? "Raven?" Fear crept up his spine. Did she somehow fall off?

"Pay back!" yelled Raven, pulling his cape up over his head and tackling him in a flying leap. They fell in a tangled heap on the blanket, Robin yelling in shock as they hit the ground, Raven laughing uncontrollably. Robin, however, didn't take too kindly to being outdone.

"Robin? ...What are you doing?" Raven's face grew even more pale, and she struggled desperately as his hands shot out to grab her, avoiding all of her attempts to stop him with frightening ease. It wasn't long before both of her arms were held forcefully above her head, exposing her helpless armpits to attack. Raven yelled, struggling to free herself from his grasp, but it was no use.

"Pay back?" asked Robin, grinning devilishly, knowing that she wouldn't be able to get free. The look of fear vanished from her face, to be replaced by a defiant frown that said, quite clearly, _Do your worst!_ It was that firey determination that made Raven what she was...amazing. "Hmm...I was going to wage a war upon your armpits, but I have a better idea." Before she could say a word, Robin leaned in and kissed her, enjoying the taste of her lips as they met his.

When it became absolutely necessary, they broke apart, breathing in the cool morning air, almost nose to nose, Raven's arms still pinned above her head. A slow, sweet smile spread across his face as he looked at her, and Raven felt warmth beyond anything the sun could give glowing inside of her. "Thank you, Raven."

She grinned mischievously, relaxing in his grip. Robin's smile was enough to melt even the coldest heart. "If you take good care of it, maybe I'll buy you another one next year."

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_Sigh...I think I'm turning into a hopeless romantic. What shall we do with me? Hope you liked it...and I don't think there will be a third chapter, unless I come up with more ideas for one-shots of the older Titans, so don't count on it. Review, please! -Dusty_


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